Hey! I Made That!
Plagued by boredom in Austin, Texas, I do the very worst thing: I start making shit.
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They’re nesting.
It might seem hyperbolic to say that having a dog has been the most significant positive change I’ve ever experienced in my life, but…I actually think it’s the truth.
It’s strange, the innate qualities that are gently tugged out of you when something or somebody relies on you entirely. Maturity and (faux) sanity unfold rapidly and naturally, bolted down by a concrete knowledge that you will not fail at this. The dog makes me a better person in the same way my sister does. The difference is, there’s no anxiety with the dog.
At the very least, he has to pee at the same time every morning, and it gets me out of bed. And in my world, that’s about 90% of the battle.
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This is a screenshot from a video my friend Adam sent me. I wish I could upload the whole thing, because it’s infinitely rad. He covered the song I wrote! It’s wonderful; he actually makes it sound like a REAL song. It’s pretty awesome that handsome bored men in Saipan feel like covering my music.
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Marius and Jasmine are here. So I’m basically going to do nothing for two weeks except bask in their god- and goddess-like glory.
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I’m at the sleep center! This is the way they dress me when I’m here. Kinda cool/scary, right?
Now all I have to do is try to sleep tonight while these two dudes videotape me, diagnose me (again), and—if I’m lucky—sell footage of me sleeping to some weird fetish site. Oh, and I get free Ambien.
All in all, things could be worse; at least I make a cute little robot.
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This is something Weston and I choose to do with our time: we take photos of hipsters standing in front of H&R Block. I’m not sure how “blockin’ it” started or why we think it’s funny, but trust, the first thing I did when I moved to Austin was look for an H&R Block.
That guy has had such a profound influence on the way I look at tax preparation services.
(Click through to Blockin’ It).
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(Sidenote: there’s a song that goes with these lyrics, but I was feeling too lazy to find the right notes for it on my uke so I just painted a picture instead)
Hey paper friend, you crumple without meaning to
But I like you.
Hey paper friend, with your hips that hurt me
And your lips that unearth me
Maybe someday I’ll be worthy
Of landing on you.
Hey paper friend, let’s go to the circus
We’ll show a world that hurts us
Just what your feet do
Just what your feet do
Just what your feet do when they touch water.
Hey paper friend, if I tied you to a rock
How far could I throw you?
How much can I know you?
I’m ready to show you
just what my feet do
Just what my feet do
Just what my feet do when they touch water.
Hey paper friend, let’s go to the circus
Stare at a world that hurts us
Have you ever seen an elephant dance?
What would it mean to take a chance
On a girl made from flesh and air?
Hey paper friend, with your hips that hurt me
And your words that move me
I’m wondering if you knew me
Would you say the same things?
Hey paper friend, I’m wondering where your bones are
I’m wondering where your homes are
Do you migrate the way I do?
Just what do your feet do
Just what do your feet do
Just what do your feet do when they touch water?
Hey paper friend, let’s go to the circus.
Hey paper friend, let’s go to the circus.
Hey paper friend, this world can’t hurt us.
Have you ever seen
Ever seen
Ever, ever, ever seen
Have you ever seen an elephant dance?
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So I took these photos on my phone, but yeah, these are the only things I’ve been making over the past couple days. GRE vocabulary flashcards! Oddly enough, most of my example sentences are about sex or cats, but never both at once, which is an important distinction.
The irony, of course, is that I’m totally fine with the verbal section and really shouldn’t be wasting my time on it. Steven is teaching me the math part.
Who’s Steven? Why, I’m happy you asked! He is a friend of the family, sort of. Also, my boyfriend. We decided it the other night. It’s probably the most deliberate and controlled dating decision I’ve ever made, which isn’t a bad thing. At all.
He’s different from me in all the right ways, which means he calms me down A LOT.
Austin is great!
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If you’re too sleepy to really make anything but you want to pretend you were creative for the day, HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
Glue a domino onto a blank ring back! Because then you can go out later and people will be all, “is that a domino? On a ring?” And you’ll be like, “yeah. I made it.”
And then take a picture of your sleepy-eyed self and hope it somehow comes out almost entirely orange and blue, like a movie poster. And then go on and dust your shoulders off. YOU DESERVE IT!
